Accidents Happens
by NaotoTainaka
Summary: Eli is certain that she will no longer be able to look at her violet haired best friend without remembering what happened in that certain night, that certain drink, that certain accident, and she cannot take back whatever she did. It seems that Eli wakes up to the worst mistake she have ever done. But, was it really her worst mistake?


**A/N: I'm baaack! With a NozoEli fanfiction this time.**

 **I was about to make this a short romcom of NozoEli, but I guess my brain, being a jerk it was, disagreed with me**

 **I hope you will enjoy!**

* * *

My consciousness was coming back little by little in each passing seconds.

I could feel that I was starting to feel aware that every flashes of images I just saw was nothing but a mere dream, and I could feel something warm grazing upon my eyes, disturbing my peaceful sleep. Without opening my eyes, I used one of my hands to rub my eyes to get rid whatever that warm feeling on my eyes, but to no avail.

That was when I realized that it could be a ray of light that hit me.

Groaning, I opened my eyes slowly, only to close them back when the blinding ray of light from the window attacked my eyes that weren't fully function yet. I blinked a couple of times until my eyes adjusted to the brightness.

When it did, however, my eyes shut itself close tightly when I could feel an agonizing headache and a wave of horrible nausea attacking my whole being. My shoulders shook, and I gritted my teeth and hardened my jaw, trying to hold the content of my stomach so it wouldn't come up and also tried to bear the awful head-splitting agony.

I didn't know how long that horrible feeling took over me, but it felt like forever until the feeling finally subside. The headache was still there, but it was not as bad and I didn't feel nauseous anymore.

Not feeling like sleeping anymore, I opened my eyes and sat on my bed as I rubbed my temples, attempting to massage the pain away. While I was focusing on massaging my temples, I pondered why I felt so horrible in such a peaceful, early morning.

I shivered a little bit at the sudden chill that spread all over my body, but I didn't pay attention to it much.

I sighed trying to remember if I had done something wrong, did I ate something last night that could make me feel this horrible? Or was it the drink? Was it spoiled or something? When I thought hard to remember, I felt my headache worsened, and I realized that I couldn't remember much about last night.

What exactly did I do last night? I remembered everyone from µ's visited me because they wanted to accompany me, thinking that I was lonely without my sister who are going on a vacation to Russia for around six days until sunday because her school had four days off, renovation or something. And so she took that chance to see our parents, she missed them she said.

Of course I allowed her, though I couldn't accompany her because I had to go to school and visiting my parents was not an urgent matter at the moment.

When the rest knew of that, they decided to have a pajama party-or more like staying-at my place for a couple of days so that I won't be lonely. I rejected them at first, saying that it was not a big deal, but they kept insisting, especially Nozomi.

The moment Nozomi stared at me and pleading silently I knew that she did not take no as an answer, so I accepted their offer, feeling defeated.

After that, I remembered that we had this cooking session, and we ate dinner together, it was the loudest dinner I've ever had, what with the other eight lively girls and all, it was of course very different from when it was only me and Arisa.

Then after that...what? I couldn't remember what happened after the dinner, I only remember bits of someone yelling they found something, and I didn't remember what else. That was odd, why couldn't I remember it? Did I got hit in the head? Maybe that was why I felt this headache?

Again my body shivered, this finally rose up a question inside my head. Was my room this cold before?

When I could feel the chilling sensation coming back again, I instinctively hugged myself in an attempt to rid of it. That was when my eyebrow shot up, I felt like something was wrong, my hands felt...empty, I felt like something was missing from my hands.

Like...fabrics for instance.

I glanced down immediately, what I saw proved my suspicions. I wasn't wearing anything, that was why I felt like something was missing and it was also why I felt my room was unusually colder than usual.

I yelped in surprise, I never sleep without any clothes on, so why was I naked?

My hands quickly lifted the cover to find that my lower body also didn't have anything to cover it. I was stark naked, nothing was covering me except for this blanket that I was holding. My brows knitted together in confusion, how come I couldn't remember any of this? How come I was naked without me remembering how?

My questions was soon answered in the worst way possible.

I heard a soft groan, coming from the same bed I was on, right next to me.

My body froze, I had a really bad feeling about this. I swallow my saliva as I stiffly turning my head to my side, praying profusely in my heart, pleading that my suspicion was very wrong.

What I saw made my eyes widening in disbelief. There I saw my violet haired bestfriend lying on my bed, another soft groan escaping her plump lips. Her eyebrows knitted together, as if in pain, she might be feeling what I was feeling just now.

Blood swirling around in my system wildly when I saw how she was also fabric-less. I could see her soft, fair skin as clear as a day, with nothing to cover it. What made me yelped a bit loud was when I realized the condition she was in.

Hair untied and was in a complete mess, her spotless fair skin now had a few of dark spots on it, a couple of it was on her neck, ruining the perfect canvas. At the sight of the dark spots, I lost it, I wasn't a fool, I knew one way to be able to make that kind of spots.

Because those spots were _hickeys_.

I didn't need to ask who did it, every pieces of the puzzle now came together. We were both naked, on the same bed, it didn't need further proof as there could only be one culprit. My cheeks reddened at the thought, but I was still confused because I couldn't remember how this really happened.

My heart was about to burst out of my chest when I saw Nozomi slowly opening her eyes, seemingly awoken because of me. My mind and my whole body froze completely when our eyes finally met.

Nozomi blinked a couple of times, her face shown that of confusion. Then I watched her widening her eyes in shock when she finally realized the state I was in. Her lips trembled and she gulped as she scanned me from top to bottom, this made me squeaked and pulled the blanket to cover my exposed body, it pulled the cover away from her body, which made her shivered at the sudden chill.

Then she stared at her own body, realizing that she was in the exact same stage, she gasped loudly and covered her private parts with her arms, although it was futile because I could still see-

 _Nonono I shouldn't stare!_

Blood was thundering in my ears, I quickly turned my own head away from her, wanting to stop staring at her exposed skin.

"E-Elicchi...why-" I heard her spoke softly and groggily, morning voice was very apparent.

Without listening anymore of her question, I stumbled out of my bed with a thud. I heard her calling my name but I didn't take heed in it and profusely searching for anything to cover my body. When my hands touched a couple of fabrics I quickly wear it without even looking, thinking that it was probably mine anyways.

Right after I wear the clothes I stood up clumsily and dashed out of my bedroom in full panic, slipping and stumbling a couple of times in the process.

"Wait Elicchi that's...!"

Her voice soon muffled by the wooden the behind me. When I was right outside, I could feel my heart was beating wildly against my ribs, I had goosebumps all over and I was shaking.

My cheeks heating up, indicating that my face was probably really red at the moment.

 _Wha...what's going on!?_

 _Did we really just...woke up together...naked!?_

Something was definitely wrong here, something was amiss. There was one important piece of information that was missing, there had to be an explaination as to why we woke up together in that condition.

A condition that clearly screamed that we had _sex_.

" _Nononono!_ " I ran away, to the bathroom that was just at the corner, I entered the bathroom without closing the door behind me. I scurried to the sink, my hands reached the faucet and turned it, letting water flowing freely from it. Then I immediately splashed myself with the water a couple of times, silently screaming inside, praying that everything I just saw was just a dream.

The images of a bare Nozomi attacked my entire mind in an instant, flawlessly getting rid of any other thought I was thinking at the moment. My heart shook, realizing what kind of situation I was in.

I slept with Nozomi, my bestfriend, who was also a girl like me.

I slept with my bestfriend.

I slept with _Nozomi._

" _Bozhe moy!_ (Oh my god!)" Due to the frustration that was overflowing inside of me, I unconsciously banging my head on the mirror in front of me. I felt like burrying myself in a hole and never come out, hiding from the embarrassing reality.

Soon after my stupid action, I could feel the pain of headache that I've been feeling increased drastically, making me moaning in pain. I brought my hand to my temple and massage it, sighing in relief when the pain slowly dissipated.

I stared at the mirror in front of me, and squinted my eyes at my own reflection. Now that I was able to look at myself, I realized how messy I was, strands of blonde hair were jutting out here and there, looking like a complete mess, as if someone just grabbed it and pulled it violently again...and again.

My cheeks reddened, I think I knew why my hair was such a mess.

I blinked when I saw something on my neck, I angled my head a little bit to take a peek at my own neck. There I saw a bruise and a slight cut, in the shape of something that obviously looked like a teeth mark.

Color was draining from my face, it wasn't just a hickey, it was actually a teeth mark! Was I bit?

 _Nozomi...bit me?_

 _Was it so crazy that-_

Again I bang my head on the mirror, not wanting to accept it yet that we really slept together. I even thought that maybe it was just a misunderstanding, and that nothing weird happened between us. But proof after proof broke every argument and more normal reason I made inside my mind.

Everything about the situation and the condition we were both in was more than enough to tell me that I undeniably had...had _sex_ with my own _bestfriend._

 _What in the world should I do now?_

"Elicchi."

My body tensed up when I heard the voice I was really familiar of, "...Ye...Yeah?" I cleared my throat, trying to act calm and composed, although I was actually really surprised at her presence, screaming inside and kept kicking myself mentally.

I heard a couple of footsteps marching towards me before I saw her in the reflection and felt a tug at the hem of my clothes. Still scared to look at her in the eye, and also afraid that she might still be... _bare_ , I only glanced at her through the reflection in the mirror.

She was wearing nothing but the cover, the blanket wrapped around her figure, hiding her embarrassing parts. Her face was beet red and she looked very flustered, I could almost practically see steams coming out of her ear. My heart was beating fast at this and I glanced away, not wanting to look at her too much in the condition she was in.

"This...is my pajama, Elicchi."

My eyes went wide like a saucer, I looked down to confirmed that what she said was right, what I wore was a pajama that was not familiar to me, it was obviously wasn't mine.

"I-I-I'm sorry! I uhh—um—I'll take it off," I grabbed the hem of the pajama an lifted it up a bit before realizing that I was about to strip right in front of her, "Wai—T-Turn around!"

Her face became a shade darker, "W-Wait Elicchi, I—here! Your paja—" She stretched out her hands, with my pajama in hand, but because of the sudden movement she made, the cover around her body fell gracefully to the floor, exposing that same, bare, fair skin that I saw earlier.

Nozomi gasped, my pajama fell off from her hands as she turned around and covered herself, I yelped and immediately turned myself around. With my heart thundering in my chest, I knelt down and tried to search for my pajama, without looking back.

When I finally found it, I stripped out of her pajama as fast as I could and swiftly wore mine. Then I stood up abruptly, it caused another headache but I tried to ignore it as I immediately turned around and gave her the pajama.

"H-Here," I looked away as she took the pajama, "I'm...sorry." I muttered lowly before I dashed out, leaving her in the bathroom all alone. My heart just couldn't bear seeing her at the moment, not after what happened.

 _This was wrong, everything was wrong._

I head downstairs, and went over to the kitchen. There, I opened the fridge and grab a bottle of mineral water and chugged it down, to sate my dry throat. I put the bottle back and closed the fridge harshly.

My heart was beating fast, and I started to breath heavily. I was panicking, I didn't know how I should face Nozomi, I didn't know what to say at all, I never had this kind of experience so it threw me off completely. Apologizing wasn't enough, since I couldn't take back whatever I did, and I couldn't even remember what the hell did I do.

 _Will our friendship be over because of this?_

My fists clenched tightly. I didn't want it to be over, Nozomi was too precious for me and I really didn't want to lose her. But I was really lost, I made a mistake that I couldn't fix.

 _Why did this happened? How did this happened?_

Sighing exasperately, I pinched the bridge of my nose. Right then the corner of my eyes caught an object around the sink, I glanced over to it, finding an empty bottle. With an eyebrow raised, I approached it and picked it up. I looked at the label, and gasped in surprise.

 _ **This**_ _was the reason!_ _ **This**_ _was why all_ _ **these**_ _happened!_

Juice flavored alcohol, it was my parents gift to me and Arisa, as a joke, since in Russia they didn't actually have any law or regulation that prohibited minor from drinking.

But here in Japan, you had to be twenty years old to be able to drink. They knew, yet they sent this because Arisa and I used to drink a little back in Russia, only because it was very cold there, and alcohol warmed up our bodies.

My parents sent this, saying that we might miss the sensation, and I obviously didn't, because I have a low tolerance on alcohol. That was why, when I was still in Russia I only take one little gulp to avoid getting drunk.

I remembered now.

Last night, Rin and Honoka found this bottle, thinking it was just juice because it smelled like one, and they couldn't read Russian, that was why they didn't know this was actually an alcohol. Without knowing the real content, they served this to all of us.

And without knowing I drink a whole lot of alcohol into my system, so much that I got drunk and...and _that_ happened.

I went over to the nearest bin and threw it in there angrily. I grumbled under my breath and scratched the back of my head in a complete frustration. Thanks mom, dad, your daughter had screwed up big time because of you two.

A hand tapped my shoulder, "Hey, Eli."

I jumped in surprise, " _Nu ti dayosh!_ (Holy crap!)" I said, pretty loud as I turned around, to find a drowsy and annoyed looking Nico. Right at the second when my brain registered that the figure in front of me was Nico, I slapped my hand to my neck, covering a certain mark so Nico wouldn't be able to see it.

Nico squinted her eyes at the bottle that I just threw in the bin, "Eli...that's an alcohol isn't it."

"Uhm...unfortunately, _yeah_."

She grumbled under her breath, "I _knew_ it...so that was why..." I blinked a couple of times when I could see a tint of pink on her cheeks, and she looked more annoyed.

"Are...you okay, Nico?" I asked, wondering why the crimson eyed girl looked very annoyed, yet had this pink blush on her cheeks.

"It was that _damned_ drink's fault." She whispered lowly, though I could hear it, then she continued, "I mean...thanks to that, I feel like crap. Can't blame Honoka-chan or Rin-chan because the label was in Russian, but why the hell do you have that in the first place?" She said as she approached the fridge to get a bottle of water and drink it, before putting it back and closed the fridge.

"Ah...that's...a long story."

She scoffed, "Whatever," Then Nico raised an eyebrow as she stared at me, or more specifically, my neck, "What's wrong with your neck?"

"O-Oh I...uhh...I think I hurt it somehow, yeah." I said as I moved my neck a little bit and made a fake pained noises, then I massaged it so that it would look even more convincing, though it sounded very fake to me.

"I see." She sighed, "I'll wake the rest up since we have to go to school soon. Is Nozomi awake yet? You **slept together** with her last night right? I think I remember seeing you two going upstairs together..."

 _Slept together_ , these words made me remember the situation I was in, and I panicked.

My cheeks were heating up, "Wh—Wha...! I—we didn't—" When I realized that she didn't mean it that way, I cleared my throat, "I-I mean, yeah, she...she's awake, last time I saw her, she was going into the bathroom."

She raised an eyebrow, "I see, well, I'm off to wake the other kids." She waved at me slightly before leaving the kitchen.

I put my hand down and let go of the breath that I didn't realize was holding, I stood there for a while, trying to calm my heartbeat down. It took around a couple of minutes before I could regain my composure. Then I exited the kitchen, and went to the living room where the rest laid their sleeping bags.

At the living room I saw Honoka and Rin sitting down in a dogeza position, guilt plastered on their faces, while Umi was standing in front of them, with eyebrows knitted together and eyes squinted, scolding them about the 'juice' we had last night. Kotori and Nico were on each sides of Umi. Kotori was trying to calm Umi down while Nico just stood there glaring at the two culprits that caused all of this.

"B-But we didn't know! Right Rin-chan?"

"Yeah! we didn't know it has alcohol in it, since we can't read the label nyaa!"

"That is exactly why you should not serve it if you didn't know what was the content of the bottle!"

Kotori tapped Umi's shoulder, "There, there Umi-chan, they didn't know, and it did smell like a normal juice."

Umi groaned as she massaged her temple, looking slightly in pain, "That is not an excuse, they should've asked Eli first."

I sighed, finally approaching them with hand on my neck to cover the bite mark. When they sensed my presence, they all stared at me and greeted me, I waved at them as a respond before speaking, "Hey guys, sorry about...that, I didn't know that the bottle Honoka and Rin found was that one, so don't be too harsh on them Umi."

Umi frowned, staring at me sharply, "In the first place, why in the world do you have a bottle of alcohol in your possession? I'm sure you are still a minor, and it is prohibited for a minor to buy, and drink an alcohol until the age of 20, you _do_ know that right, Eli?"

"Yeah, I've been wanting to know about that." Nico said with a frown as she crossed her arms.

"Uhh...it's my parents', they...brought that when they visited." I lied, it was mine and Arisa's, but it was better for me not to tell Umi that, knowing how strict Umi was, she would also scold me, and I'd rather not to be scolded by the morning Umi, knowing she was really scary when she just woke up.

"C'mon Umi-chan, Nico-chan, have mercy on us!" Honoka exclaimed as she pouted.

Umi pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned, "Fine, Fine, I feel too sick to even utter another word anyways, I'll let it slide this time, but you better ask Eli as the owner of this house next time you find anything, do you understand?"

"Y-Yes ma'am!" Both Honoka and Rin said in unison as they saluted to Umi and Nico.

Umi proceed to sit on the sofa next to Hanayo, who looked really pale and was cupping her mouth with both hands, shoulders trembling a little bit. Feeling worried, I approached the brown haired girl and patted her in the shoulder, before caressing it to soothe her.

"Are you okay Hana—" Before I could finish my sentence, Hanayo stood up abruptly and ran toward the bathroom that was in the hallway of the first floor. We heard the sound of the door slammed shut, and I saw Rin stood up from her dogeza position and marched towards the door. I followed behind Rin because I also felt worried.

At the bathroom door, Rin knocked it a couple of times, "Are you okay Kayochin?" she paused to listen to a respond. Finding there wasn't any, she turned the knob and entered the unlocked bathroom, before closing the door behind her.

Soon after I could hear a muffled noise of someone emptying the content of their stomach, this made me cringed. Then I could hear Rin yelping and called out to Hanayo's name in full worry. I shook my head and sighed exasperatedly, I could only hope that Hanayo would be okay.

The sound of footsteps going down the stairs made my ears perked. I snapped my head towards the origin of the sound to find the one and only Nozomi standing there, all clean, fresh, and complete with the school uniform. My eyes caught a couple of band-aids on her neck, the sight made me shifted my eyes as blush adorned my cheeks.

She cleared her throat, "...Is Hanayo-chan okay?"

I turned my head back to the door in front of me, then shrugged my shoulders. I heard a couple of footsteps before I felt a hand was grabbing my wrist, this made my heart leapt and I instinctively snapped my head at the culprit and slapped her hand away.

The second I realized what I just did, I gasped and stared at Nozomi with guilt washed over me. Nozomi whose face shown that she felt hurt by my action just now, slowly retreated her hand away from me.

I touched my wrist that she had grabbed earlier, I could feel an odd heat from this same wrist. It felt like a wildfire was spreading from it to my entire body, making the hairs on the back of my neck stood on its end.

My wrist felt hot, I felt hot, my cheeks felt hot.

"N-N-Nozomi I...I-I'm..." I stammered uselessly, unable to find the right words, for my mind was a complete mess. All because of a simple touch, and it threw me off completely that I was unable to think straight for some reason that was still unknown to me.

"The bathroom is empty now." Nozomi said, sounding all cheerful. Her face returned to its usual, cheery face, as if her expression just now was nothing but a mere illusion.

I blinked twice, "...Huh?" I was confused, because her cheery reaction was very out of place, something about her cheery tone and her expression at the moment was wrong, everything about her act at the moment was wrong.

"We all should prepare for school soon, so go on and prepare yourself now." She still sounded like nothing was wrong, but something felt odd about her tone, and I couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was.

"Oh, are you going to the bathroom upstairs?" Came a new voice, I glanced over to find Nico holding a towel and a toothbrush, "Eli, can I join you?"

"Huh? Oh...uhh...yeah, sure." Right after I said that, I could see Nozomi walked past by us without uttering another words, towards the living where the others were. I shifted my eyes and stared at her retreating back before she turned around the corner and disappearing from sight.

I keep staring at the empty space where she just passed, feeling anxious. I could definitely tell that her attitude became different the moment I instinctively slapped her hand away, like I just pressed the wrong switch.

 _Did Nozomi hate me? Was she mad? Was it because of what happened last night?_

 _Would our relationship really shattered into pieces because of it?_

A shaky sigh escaped my lips, I really didn't want to lose Nozomi, I didn't want to lose my one and only bestfriend that I really care about and that I trusted completely. What I did was the worst mistake I had ever done, and I knew couldn't take it back. There was nothing I could do to change the past, this horrible mistake will be carved deeply into our history.

"Eli?" Nico's voice snapped me out of my trance, I glanced at her to find concern flashing in her eyes.

"...Let's go to the bathroom upstairs." I said as my lips turned into a small smile. Nico nodded at me, after that I went upstairs, soon after I heard a set of footsteps behind me indicating that Nico was following right behind me.

In the bathroom, there was this awkward silence between us while we were brushing our teeth, and I was awkwardly brushing my teeth while I still kept my other hand up on my neck, because I didn't want Nico to see what was underneath.

I didn't have any mood to bring up any topic to talk about, and for some reason Nico was unusually quiet, staring at me with a rapt gaze all the while.

After we finished brushing our teeth, I watched Nico splashed the clear water on her face a couple of times, rubbing her cheeks slightly before she grabbed her towel and dried her face with it. I decided not to wash my face because it needs two hands, and I've washed my face earlier anyways.

Nico peeked from her towel to stare at my reflection in the mirror, "Eli, are you in a fight with Nozomi?"

Her question made me jumped in surprise, "H-Huh? _N-No!_ " I stuttered, Nico squinted her eyes at me, completely not believing what I just said.

"I saw your reaction when Nozomi grabbed you," She paused, then her eyes shifted to my hand that was covering my neck. Feeling self-conscious about it, I took a step back away from her and turned to the side a little bit so that she won't be able to stare at it any further.

She lifted her hand up and grabbed my hand that was busy covering my bitten neck, then she pulled hard at it. Widening my eyes, I pulled back as hard so that my hand would stay in place, I just couldn't let anyone see what had become of my neck.

After awhile of pulling, she finally let go, glaring at me this time, "Does it have something to do with _that_? Did she hurt you when she was drunk?" She asked as she pointed to my neck, eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm...I'm fine." I muttered lowly, then I quickly went over to the first aid kit box and took out a heat patch to cover that certain mark. I choose the heat patch over the band-aid because I knew that the band-aid won't cover even half of it. With a swift and quick move I immediately covered that mark with it, wincing seconds after that because of the stinging pain over my open wound.

I knew I shouldn't wear the heat patch over an open wound, but I had no choice, better than getting found out.

"Eli...did you...did you get in a fight with Nozomi..." She shot me a disbelief look, "... _literally?_ "

I raised an eyebrow when she emphasized the word _'literally'_. Did Nico really thought that we were in a fight, _literally?_ I was about to correct her but a sudden realization swept through, I could use that kind of excuse so that Nico won't ask further!

I looked away and laughed nervously, "Uhm...yeah, sort of."

"Wait, _seriously?_ What happened?"

I scratched my cheek, "Uhh...I don't remember much but...we were _drunk_ , right? I remember that there was _struggling_ here and there, then we were starting to get _heated up_ —w-with the struggling I mean, and then...I can't remember the rest. When I woke up I already have this wound." I explained with a set of blush on my cheeks, feeling embarrassed at my words of choice, which sounded like a sexual innuendo.

Nico blinked twice, confusion was apparent on her face, "Huh, so you two were going at it so hard that you got hurt."

I almost choked on my own saliva when I heard her say that, because my brain registered the meaning of her sentence differently. I cleared my throat awkwardly and nodded at her fervently.

Nico had an eyebrow shot up, maybe wondering if that was really the case, but then she shrugged her shoulders. Nico glanced around, before she grabbed a comb and started to brush her bed hair. I watched her silently, waiting for her to finish brushing her hair. When she did, she passed me the comb and started to tied up her hair in her usual twintails with a pair of red ribbons.

I muttered a low thanks before I started to brush my very messy blonde hair. I nodded approvingly at my own reflection when I could see my hair had become neat like it was supposed to. My hand was about to reach for my spare of white scrunchies that I laid around the sink, but then I paused, thinking that if I tied up my hair like usual, the heat patch on my neck would stand out like a sore thumb.

A sigh escaped my lips as I retreated my hand. Yeah, it was better if I let my hair down until the bite mark healed completely, or at least until it was barely there, since I could just cover it with a concealer or some sort.

"What, you're not gonna tie up your hair, Eli?"

I glanced at Nico, shaking my head, "No, the heat patch on my neck will just stick out."

"Ah...I see." She said as she held her towel and her toothbrush, then she nodded towards the door. Afterward we exited the room, and right outside the door there was Maki, Umi and Honoka, they were about to enter the bathroom.

A gust of wind went passed me, I turned my head to find Nico was stomping away towards the stairs, grumbling all the way. Umi, Honoka and I stared at Nico's back, confused as to why she suddenly left with that kind of attitude. I wonder if something pissed her off.

I heard someone groaned lowly, I glanced to the owner of the voice, Maki. I noticed that there were pink tints on her cheeks, and she was twirling the ends of her hair, looking flustered about something.

Maki huffed and entered the bathroom, Honoka and Umi followed suit behind her. Honoka was wondering what was up with Nico out loud, earning a growl from Maki. I stared at her quizzically, but then I shrugged it off, decided that they were probably fighting about something trivial, as usual.

I went to my bedroom. When I closed the door behind me, I blinked in surprise to find that my bed was no longer messy, I reckon that Nozomi was the one who made the bed. Seeing my bed in front of me made everything came back to me.

Both Nozomi and I were there on that same bed, flesh against flesh, and we did something incredibly indecent on it. Something that a pair of bestfriend should not do, something that you're supposed to do with your lover.

I no longer know how to face Nozomi properly, now whenever I saw her, all I could think about was what we did. All that was in my head was images or imaginations of the two us doing it. I still wasn't able to remember what really happened last night, so my imaginations were actually kinda blurry.

With me kept thinking dirty like this whenever I saw her, I didn't know if I could even talk to her, or apologize to her properly about this, my heart just couldn't take it, it felt like it was going to burst any time.

I grumbled as I went to my wardrobe to grab my uniform.

* * *

Hot.

I felt scorching hot.

My entire body felt like it was burning all over mercilessly, I swear I could almost feel as if I was melting, literally. I panted heavily as I wiped my sweat off my forehead with my hand, eyes staring sharply at the figure in front of me whom I pinned hardly against the wall. That same figure was writhing and whimpering uncontrollably against my drenched, hot, and bare skin .

Unconsciously I swallowed my own saliva when I watched her sweat trickling down slowly from her neck to the valley of her mounds. I groaned, fully lusting at the sight, then I licked my lips, desperately wanting to lick every droplets of her sweat until she was dry.

Being unable to think twice at the moment, I did what my inner desire wanted. I licked her neck hungrily, as if I haven't drink for decades and her sweat was the only drink that was available for me. She moaned my name the moment my moist tongue attacked her sensitive neck, feeling the vibration of her voice and how she was writhing helplessly due to my actions increased my excitement.

The saltiness of her sweat made me crave for more, this made me kept licking and licking around her neck in search of those tasty droplets of hers. My mind was going crazy, my whole body was also going crazy and out of control.

I wanted to hear her moan again, I wanted to feel her reaction again, I wanted her to react to everything I did.

My head went blank. As if possessed, I sucked at her neck without a single hint of gentleness, thinking that I was able to suck her dry this way. I kept sucking and sucking stubbornly at one spot before moving to another spot, close to the first one and repeat the action, earning an ear-tickling gasp and shaky breathing.

I groaned, both in pain and excitement when I could feel two hands were clutching tightly in my golden locks—now lose from its scrunchie—for dear life. Sometimes that same hands pulled my hair rather violently, as if unable to dam the unfathomable force of desire and lust, and she needed something to vent the heavenly feeling, desperately.

Everything excited me, even if it was a bit violent and harsh, everything she did made my head spin, and made my lower part tensed up.

Like a hungry panther, I gave her many wet kisses and trailed down towards her chest area, I moaned her name before I sucked on her chest, inches above the areola itself, leaving another red-purpleish mark before I went further downwards.

My heart was pounding wildly the moment my lips brushed against the tip of her mound, which was already hardened. The condition of it invited me to suckled it with my mouth, like a baby who was thirsty and wanting to drink.

Again I felt the insatiable thirst.

I circled my tongue around the areola a couple of times in an agonizing slow pace, making her groaned impatiently. I smirked mischievously and continued the agonizing tease. I could hear her moaning in protest before she pulled my head hardly, forcing her nipple to enter my mouth.

Sniggering lowly at her desperation for more stimulation, I obliged to her wish and began to suckle it. My tongue made a circle pattern at the very tip of her hardened nipple as I sucked the life out of her, making her shudder violently.

"Ahn! Elicchi...!"

"Nozomi..." I whispered her name against her nipple, my breath became more and more ragged the more she moaned my name in pleasure.

For some odd reason, my vision was starting to get blurry. The scene in front of me slowly fading into blackness, but I could still hear her voice clearly.

"Elicchi...!"

"Nn...Nozomi..."

"Elicchi!"

Her voice starting sound different. Instead of the lust filled voice, she sounded clearer, more normal, I wondered why.

" _Hey_ , Elicchi!"

I snapped my eyes open when I could feel two hands were on my shoulders, shaking my body. I realized that my vision was blurry, so I blinked a couple of times to clear my vision. I groaned tiredly, realizing that I just fell asleep on the table, inside the clubroom.

After my vision cleared, I glanced around slightly to search for the culprit who shook my shoulders and awoke me from my nap. Then I found that same girl who was just in my dream, standing next to me with a worried look plastered on her face. I blinked when I caught the sight of band-aids on her neck, it was at the exact same place where I sucked, in my dream.

Realization swept through like a truck.

That, just now wasn't a dream, it was a _memory_.

Memory of what happened last night when we were drunk. Every images I saw was definitely from a memory, not from a mere imagination, that much I could tell. Because it was so vivid, too real for it to be just a dream, the feelings felt very real.

"E-Elicchi! Your nose...!"

I blinked, "Huh...?" I touched my nose with my fingertips, then stared at it to find a dark red, wet substance moisting it. I gasped in a complete shock and disbelief at the sight. On instinct, I lifted my head, leaned back and pinched my nose, so that it wouldn't get messier.

"B-B-Blood nyaa!" I heard Rin, who was sitting in front of me, yelled.

Umi paled at the sight, "S-Somebody call a doctor!"

"We got one here!" I heard Nico exclaimed as she pushed Maki towards me.

"What the hell? I'm not a doctor... _yet!_ "

Nico groaned, "Close enough!" Nico gave Maki a pack of tissue in a hurry. Maki groaned in annoyance, but she immediately went over to my side, she pulled out a couple of sheets from the pack and cleaned up my mess swiftly.

Maki gave me a couple more, I quickly rolled both tissues and stuffed them to my nostrils. I leaned my back to the chair and kept my head high, grumbling at my own body for being stupid.

I felt a hand rubbing my shoulder, I glanced to find Nozomi, "Elicchi...are you okay?"

My heart skipped a beat. The moment I saw her face, I recalled my dream—no—my memory again. Blood starting to run wild inside of me, and I could feel that my cheeks heated up. I glanced away from her, feeling that my heart would burst any second the longer I stared at her face, since it kept reminding me of what I—we did.

"I'm okay...must be the hangover." I waved dismissively.

She kept rubbing my shoulder, as if to soothe me, "You were groaning in your sleep...nightmare?"

My heart beat started to increase its pace. They way her hand was rubbing softly on my shoulder made the hair on my nape stood up on its end, and it made me took a small sharp breath. Her touch made the skin searing hot in its wake.

The overwhelming, indescribable feeling I had in that dream resurfaced. An odd feeling started to build up in the pit of my stomach, and for some reason I could feel that there was a lump in my throat.

My lips parted slightly and I exhaled in such a way that wasn't normal, I let out a very low raspy groan, inaudible to others, but audible to me. This caused me to immediately hold Nozomi's hand and pushed it away from me, my face felt hot all over.

"I-I'm fine." I stuttered, trying to fight anymore weird noises from coming out of my throat. I stood up from my seat, and rushed over to the changing room without looking at Nozomi even once.

I just couldn't, something about seeing her figure alone made my whole body crazy and out of control.

My hand reached over to the knob, "We...should practice now." I muttered rather pretty low to every µ's members in the room before turning the knob, went inside, and closed the door behind me.

I leaned on the hard wood behind me helplessly, I could feel myself shaking all over, powerless, as if my energy had been sucked dry by the stroke of her hand. My breath was heavy, my eyes were blurry, and I felt very hot that my back started to sweat.

 _What is wrong with me?_

* * *

"Nico." I grabbed the black-haired's small shoulder, making her jumped a little bit in surprise.

Then she turned around and stared at me questioningly, "What's up? Has the bleeding finally stopped?"

"Y-Yeah, and uhh...can you be my warming up partner today?"

"...Huh? But you're usually with Nozo—"

"Please." I gave her a pleading look, my senses were tingling the moment she was about to say that one name that I didn't want to hear for the day.

"What, why—"

" _Don't ask._ "

"But—you—" She groaned, "Okay, fine, I don't want to partner up with a certain someone today anyways." She glanced over to Maki, I swear I kept seeing this tint of pink on her cheeks whenever she talked, or mentioned about Maki, or the drinking incident, she obviously looked flustered. Then she immediately regain her composure, which made me wonder what was up with her and Maki.

Could something... _similar_ , happened between them?

"Eli, c'mon." I snapped out of my trance, to find Nico nodding towards where the others were, they were about to start warming up. I nodded back at her and then we joined the others.

Unexpectedly, Nozomi paired up with Maki, this made Nico and I deadpanned. Still not comfortable around Nozomi yet, I tried to stay a little far way from both of them, surprisingly Nico followed along, seemingly wanted to avoid Nozomi's group also. I sighed in relief, it seemed that I don't have to worry about acting a bit off like earlier.

Nico nudged me, "So, what was really up with you and Nozomi?"

 _Spoke too soon._

I groaned, and held Nico's feet as she did a set of sit ups, "It's nothing, just concentrate on warming up."

Lifting her body up a couple of times, she pressed onto the question, "But...ngghh...seriously...ugh...why do you...hnnn...avoid her—"

I slapped my face at the voices she made, which reminded me of something else, "Nico, focus."

"I can't...hahh...can I...um—rest? I can't...mmph...much longer and I'll—"

My eyebrows twitched, "Nico!"

I could almost feel my head exploded, for some reason everything reminded me of that night. Especially that I started to remember what really happened, I just couldn't think straight at all, everything and anything became different in my mind.

Noises especially, it just meant completely _different_ now.

Nico sprawled on the floor, breath ragged and she was sweating, "Aww man...you're evil Eli, the number one idol Nico is fragile you know~"

"That was only a couple of sit ups, the number one idol would've been able to do hundred sit ups with no sweat." I shot at her, Nico groaned at me in response.

"My head is still hurtiiiing." Nico grumbled as she shot me an accusing look.

I sighed, "I know, the others are, too." I nodded at the others, "They are still trying their best, the number one idol can also do that right? C'mon, Love Live is just around the corner."

Nico scoffed, then she started to do another set of sit ups, before stopping abruptly. I gave her a quizzical stare.

"Wait, you're just trying to avert my question, aren't you."

 _Darn it, I thought she forgot about it already._

She sat up and brought her face closer to mine, "I knew it, there was something else that happened last night, isn't it? Don't think of me as a fool, I didn't buy your story Eli, I knew something else is up." She whispered, eyes squinting hard at me.

I gulped. _Crap, so she really didn't buy that._

"...Okay, I buy it at first, but your attitude has been really off today, that even the airheaded Honoka realized that. She asked me about you and Nozomi, _the others_ asked me about you two."

I could only stared in disbelief and stayed silent, I didn't want to say anything that could be used against me. Seeing my silence, Nico sighed and shook her head slightly.

"Look, you might think you're hiding it real good, but really, anyone can see something was up with you and Nozomi. You keep pushing her away whenever she was approaching you, heck, you are obviously avoiding her altogether, who knows why."

I grumbled, looking away, "I don't want to talk about this."

Nico glared at me, "Look here Ayase Eli, just like you said, Love Live is just around the corner, so we need to do our best. But we obviously won't be in our best if two of our members are fighting with each other, flawless team work is the very essence of an idol group."

"We're not...we're not _fighting_."

"Then what?"

I frowned in annoyance, "Hey, what about _you_ and _Maki?_ And you also don't want to talk about what happened last night with Maki, right? So you have no right to ask such question to me." I muttered in anger a bit loud, this actually drew the others' attention.

Nico widened her eyes, cheeks reddening, "Wha—wait, how do you—"

I lifted my right hand to her, the other's massaging the bridge of my nose, "Enough, I'm sorry, that was rude of me, I shouldn't have said that." I stood up, before continuing, out loud, "I think I'm going to go back, my head is hurting very bad." I lied, I did have a headache, but it was not enough to stop me from working out, but I felt like running at the moment.

"Elicchi...?" Came the small voice from that one person that was able to wreck my entire being today.

I flinched, before looking at the others' concerned eyes, "You guys don't have to stop the practice, I'll be waiting at my house, and I'll cook something for you guys, okay? See you." I waved my hand at them before turning my heels and walked away in a haste.

"N-Nico-chan what did you do to her nyaa?"

"I...I just asked her something and—"

I closed the door to the rooftop behind me, muffling anymore voices so that my ears were unable to comprehend whatever they said next. My body felt heavy and weak, and I was shaking a little while having this small headache.

My ears perked at the sound of my own footsteps that reverberated around me at each step down the stairs. Despite the loud, echoing sounds that accompanied me all the way to the first floor, it felt eerily silent and lonely. I felt empty and I felt wrong, everything felt wrong, and I hate feeling this way.

 _Was there nothing I could do to fix this?_

I stopped in my track and brought my hands up, I gave it a glare, one of guilt, before blinking rapidly due to tears that started to form in my eyes. I watched my own droplets of tears fell onto my cold open palms, grimacing when I realized how these cold hands had been stained.

It was a fact that I took advantage of my own bestfriend. Drunk or not, it was despicable, it was a very huge mistake, and worse, I enjoyed it, I liked it. I might still unable to remember much about last night, but that dream, those images, and the feelings felt very real, and I looked like I enjoyed it.

Hell, I enjoyed that very dream as it was. Which proved me further that the wild me in my dream were in fact...myself, a memory of an event, a certain event.

I, Ayase Eli actually enjoyed seeing my bestfriend in such helpless state. Being dominated by my own hands, reacting to every single touches I did, whispering my name again and again, pleading for more.

I'm disgusting, for thinking such dirty doings towards my very own bestfriend, my own colleague of my group.

* * *

Staring at the bags of grocery, I rolled the sleeves of my long sleeved T-shirt, "Alright, nine helpings of curry rice." Then I began to prepare the dinner, trying as fast as possible so that when the others came back, the food was ready for them to eat.

I boiled the pot filled with water and some seasoning before I quickly cut up the potatoes, carrots, and the meats into dice shaped, small pieces. The moment I heard the water boiling, I dumped the small pieces of meats in there, then all I needed to do was wait for around fifteen minutes before dumping the carrot.

Right when I've put the meat in, I heard the doorbell rang, this made me raised an eyebrow in confusion. Was that them? I didn't think they would arrive this soon, did they finished the practice early?

Glancing at the pot, I nodded approvingly when it looked like it would be okay to be left alone a little bit. Then I brought my feet towards the front door, and opened them, only to be greeted by the lively girls.

Honoka waved her hand excitedly, "Eli-chan! Do you feel okay now?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I've drank some aspirin, and you guys? You all back very early..."

"Kayo-chin seemed to have the worse hangover out of all of us so...we decided to rest for today nyaa."

"I-I'm really sorry..." Hanayo bowed a couple of times, looking completely guilty.

Nico scoffed, "Plus, we're not really in the shape for practice anyways, it's better to rest today and pushed all we got tomorrow, even the number one idol needed rest when necessary."

Nico gave me a subtle apologetic look, before winking and grinned, "Right, Eli?" She gave her trademark pose, and mouthed an apology. I nodded at Nico and responded to her silent apology with a smile, I also tried to convey an apology through my expression and gestures.

I did realize that I went overboard, I was anxious, my mind was a mess and confused. Unable to dam my emotions, I took all my frustration out on Nico, and it was wrong, I admitted that.

Some time alone in my home made me able to think more clearly, and I regret that I lose my cool to Nico like that.

Out of the blue, Kotori rushed in and inhaled deeply, "I'm smelling something! Are you still cooking Eli-chan? Can I help?"

"Cooking? Let Niconii, the master of cooking help too!"

I chuckled, "Okay, sure, now come on in guys." Both Kotori and Nico cheered before they rushed in and left all of us to go to the kitchen. Then I heard Umi called out to them both and told them to not be so rude when entering someone's house, though the other two already disappeared around the corner so they might not hear Umi's scolding. Afterward Umi bowed down to me and apologized for their behavior, in which I didn't mind.

Then one by one they started to enter my house, and the last one to go in was Nozomi. She closed the door behind her before she turned around and stared at me, the way she looked at me made me flinched.

It was filled with sadness.

It was very clear that she was upset, she knew I was avoiding her, she knew how uncomfortable I act around her, ever since that happened. She might also feel sad because she hated me. Hated me because I took advantage of her when we were not in our right mind.

I mean, who would like to do that when you were mentally and physically unable to give the consent? Not to mention it was your own bestfriend of the same sex, it was not normal, it was not supposed to happened.

Nozomi brought her right hand up, about to reach me, but retreated, her head dropping low. Then she snapped her head away and she immediately went past me. Out of instinct I grabbed her wrist, stopping her from going anywhere.

She slowly turned her head towards me, and I widen my eyes at the sight in front of me. Nozomi had tears running down on her cheeks, her lips were trembling badly. I made a disbelief look at first, before changing into guilt.

I pulled her closer to me. The closer she got to me, her body started to tremble and her tears were coming out more profusely. I cringed at the sight and tried to wipe her tears away with my other hand, but she held it, and pushed it away from her slightly, this made my heart clenched tight inside, it felt hurt.

My lips also began to tremble, "I'm—I'm sorry, Nozomi..." I finally found my voice, albeit croaked.

With both hands, she pushed me away gently, "...No, _I'm_ sorry, Elicchi." She whispered lowly, sounding like she was holding back a sob. Then she rushed towards the stairs, probably not wanting anyone to see what she looked like at the moment.

I held out my hands, intending to grab her and just kept her in place, but it was too late, it was just a hair's touch but she was already out of reach.

My heart thumped hard in a way that it felt hurt in my chest, I clutched my hand over to my chest, wanting this unbearable feeling to go away. I didn't want her to go, for some reason it felt like I would lose her forever, but it was too late, she was already out of sight.

It was my fault.

All of this was my fault.

If only I hid that bottle better, if only I was not able to get drunk easily, if only I was sober enough to know what I was doing, _if only I didn't enjoy it_.

But we couldn't go back, we couldn't erase what we had done in the past, we couldn't fix what had fell and broken back to its perfect state. Our friendship had been stained, and I was the one who stained it. Everything was completely my fault because I was not able to look after myself, control myself.

A tear escaped me, but I immediately shook my head and wiped it away. I've been crying all the way back home from school, I didn't want to cry again, not to mention there was the others' presence in my house. Plus, I was in the middle of cooking, so I had to go back to the kitchen where Kotori and Nico were.

With a heavy heart, I took step after step towards my kitchen. When I made a turn at a corner, I jumped in surprise, because there stood Nico, standing at the corner, arms crossing and she was leaning back on the wall.

"N-Nico! Since when—"

She glared at me, "Shut it, I've been here since the beginning, I saw, and heard everything. I was about to ask you about the cooking, but then I found you talking with Nozomi, a _crying_ Nozomi."

I fell silent, completely taken by surprise and was unable to think of a reply at all.

"I _knew_ something else was up with you two, are you sure you don't need help?"

I shifted my eyes away from her, "I...I'm okay, please let me handle this—I wanted to handle this on my own."

She sighed exasperatedly, "Okay, fine, just remember that I'm willing to help. Nozomi is my friend too you know."

"I know, thank you, Nico."

"Now c'mon, we can't find the curry spice anywhere."

I nodded at her silently, and followed behind her.

That night, we had a curry rice as a dinner, Nozomi finally joined us at the last minute. The rest asked her where had she been, Nozomi glanced at me for a split second before explaining that she was just napping for a bit because her head hurt. I frowned, I didn't buy her story at all, I knew that she was probably crying her tears out, because of me. I grimaced at the thought.

After that, Honoka joked about finding another random bottle, before getting hit in the head by Umi. Then, Honoka suggested to take a bath together with everyone, which I dismissed immediately because our bathroom would definitely not fit all nine of us, Honoka laughed nervously at this.

And so in the end we took turns, three people on each bathrooms at a time. We ended up splitting into our sub unit group; Printemp, Lily White, and BiBi. Which means that I ended up taking a bath with both Maki and Nico, and it was really awkward since both Nico and Maki either just fell into an awkward silence or a sudden banter with each other about a very trivial matter.

And then after the so called _'bath party'_ , we all played around in the living room for a while before Umi suggested that we all work on our homework, which I and Maki agreed to, earning a grumble from three certain people. Obviously, the study session split into three groups, the first, second, and third year. The first and second year's group was chatty, and lively, while mine was very awkward.

Nozomi was unusually silent, the three of us had studied together a lot before, and Nozomi was usually very lively and teased Nico a lot with that gropping habit of hers whenever Nico messed around or get an answer wrong. But she was actually silent this time, eyes locked onto her notebook, not saying a single word nor doing anything weird, which was very uncharacteristic of her.

I shared a look with Nico, she also knew that something was different with Nozomi. She glanced at Nozomi for a second before she glanced back at me and pointed her finger accusingly at me, I frowned at her.

She scooted closer to me and brought her hand to my notebook and wrote something with her pink mechanical pencil. I raised an eyebrow, wondering what was she writing on my notebook.

She pulled back her hand, indicating that she had done writing, and so I read it, _**'Seriously, what is wrong with you two? You better fix this up or I'm going to meddle with it.'**_

I sighed, and wrote on her notebook with my own mechanical pencil, _**'I will try, this is very personal and complicated so let me handle it myself.'**_

 _ **'You sure you don't want help? As your fellow third year and as your, and Nozomi's friend, I really wanted to help you clean up this mess, c'mon talk to me Eli.'**_

 _ **'I can't, I just can't, I'm sorry Nico but please, let me do this on my own.'**_

I heard Nico groaned lowly in annoyance, before replying, _**'If this decision of yours of going on your own ended up with a ruined µ's, I'm going to hunt you down and scratch you real good.'**_

 _ **'Calm down there cutie panther, you also don't want to explain what happened between you and Maki, so it's just fair, right?'**_

 _ **'Haha, real funny. Fine, have it your way, I will keep an eye on you two so hard like the cutie panther I am, I'm gonna get you.'**_

Nico gave a hard nudge to my elbow and scooted away from me. I sighed then erase every messages on my notebook as I hummed one of BiBi's song, Cutie Panther, and this earned a quiet hiss from Nico.

But really, Nico was right, I needed to clean up this mess, or µ's will be ruined. Without a full team work, µ's wouldn't be able to perform properly, we wouldn't be able to win Love Live and boost our school's name. All I needed was to talk with Nozomi.

 _...But talk about what exactly?_

Now that I think about it, what should I talk about if I do have a chance to talk with Nozomi?

I didn't know what to talk about, talking would not erase the past, what benefits would I get when I talk with her? Come to terms with my feelings?

 _Feelings._

Ah, wasn't that the source of all this _'avoid'_ business? My feelings?

It was, I knew it was, I couldn't deny it.

I hated myself for feeling this way about her. This...uncomfortable feeling in my heart whenever I saw, got close, or touched her, ever since the 'accident'. I wasn't all that oblivious, I realized that my heart pumped faster when I was with her, I realized that I liked what happened that night, and all these made me finally realized what these feelings were called, and I became self-conscious about it.

I felt disgusted with myself.

That was why I avoided her, I wanted to protect her from me, I didn't want her to be stained further because me, I didn't want to lose her. Without her, I wouldn't be here, I would be off somewhere, all alone, stuck with the failures of the past, unable to run nor struggle.

All this time I've been holding on to her ever so tightly that I got so dependent with her, and I didn't want to lose my main reason of changing into who I was now.

So, when I was able to talk with her, what should I talk about?

I couldn't be honest with her about what I feel, that would just made things go awkward. I could just apologize, but I didn't think apology alone was enough, what I did was beyond forgiveness, it was a grave mistake, things would not go back to normal just like that.

I had no clue on what to do, at all. This was a mystery that I had no answer to, all I could do was stay silent and pondered what was the least I could do, because I didn't want to get it wrong and ruined everything forever.

 _I don't know, I just don't know what to do, Nozomi._

And at that night, after we all finished with the homework, we all had no power left to do anything else, so we decided that it was time to tuck in. This time I slept alone in my room, in that same cursed bed, wondering all night on how to deal with this kind of situation, _quick_.

* * *

The next day, the sun was glaring brightly, and the sky was very clear, bright blue with little to no whites in the way. It was supposed to be a very calm day where everyone's health finally back to normal and we were ready to practice harder than usual for the sake of the upcoming Love Live.

That day was the day everyone went home to their respective places, since the pajama party was finally over, which mean I had plenty of times to be alone in my house to think about what to do with my situation, I had to think very thoroughly as to not ruin anything, it had to be perfect.

That day, I was so determined to hurry up and finish the dance practice quickly, and then went home as soon as possible to _'meditate'_. I didn't want to linger around before I could clean my mess up, and I didn't want to linger around so that I could try to plan something with a clear head, without Nozomi to distract my heart and mind, and without Nico nagging at me about our situation.

It was _supposed_ to be that way.

But something became out of hand, the moment all of us gathered in the clubroom, and Nozomi abruptly stood up from her seat. Everything just came crashing down like an ice bucket dumped upon our heads right at the moment when Nozomi opened her mouth.

"I'm quitting µ's"

Said Nozomi quietly, with tears in her eyes. Nozomi, the one who brought all nine of us together, the one that I considered as my salvation, the one that gave a name to this group.

Nozomi was a part of our mismatched group of friends, Nozomi was the reason we were all here together, tightly bonded, and that same Nozomi said that she wanted to quit all of these.

There was a heavy silence within us, we were all staring at an utter disbelief and we were unable to register what she had just said for a whole minute. When it finally sank in, we all gasped in unison, and Honoka, eyes very wide, stood from her seat, hitting the table with her palms all the while.

"N-Nozomi-chan! You're...you're _joking_ right!?"

Nozomi shook her head slowly, "No, I am not joking, Honoka-chan."

This time, it was Umi who stood up, "Nozomi...why!?"

"It's for our sake." Nozomi said curtly, my heart leapt at this, it hurt.

I clenched my fists, so hard that they were shaking, before standing up slowly, staring at her with wide eyes, "Nozomi..." I called out to her name lowly, I was still unable to accept what she had just said.

 _Was it all my fault?_

She stared at me, and smiled as tears flowing down endlessly. I cringed at how contrast her smile and her tears were, she looked very heart-wrenching. My insides were twisting painfully, I felt like it was getting harder to breathe in each passing seconds.

"You'd feel better when I'm not here."

It _was_ my fault, wasn't it.

Nozomi turned around, and without saying anymore words, she exited the clubroom, leaving us all dumbfounded. Nobody see that coming, I didn't see that coming, at all. Nobody would've even be able imagine that the word _'quit'_ could even slipped out of Nozomi's lips.

My heart clenched inside, color drained away from my face, my head dropped low and I slumped back to my seat, as if I've stopped functioning. I didn't even made an attempt to ran after her, I felt all power had slipped away from me, my mind was nothing but a blank.

Nozomi left, she really left, just like that.

Then, I heard someone banging the table and I heard a loud creak, signifying that someone just stood up abruptly, but I didn't look up to see who it was, I just kept my head low, staring at the empty space under my feet.

I heard a loud footsteps approaching, "That's it, I'm gonna scratch you _real good_ like I promised." I heard someone—who I recognized as Nico—said, before she grabbed me by the collar and pulled me harshly, forcing me to look up to her angry eyes.

"Nico!" I heard Umi yelled, from the corner of my eyes I could see her approached us, only to be stopped when Nico lifted her hand up.

"Eli, you're not gonna move even a single inch to catch up with her? Didn't you say you'd handle it?"

I opened my mouth, but before I could say anything, tears began to form in my eyes. I blinked rapidly to get rid of it, but to no avail, my tears fell down gracefully onto my color drained cheeks, dampening it with my sorrowfulness.

"She hates me now, she wouldn't want me around her, Nico." was the only thing I could say clearly before I started to sob and tears came flowing down like mad.

Through my blurry eyes, I watched Nico frowned, "Girls, out, I need to talk with Eli, _alone._ " She looked at the others and nodded, assuring the others that she could handle it.

"I think I know what's going on here." She muttered, letting my collar go and dragged a seat so she could sit right next to me, facing me. Not long after, I heard a lot of scuffles around me and many footsteps walking out of the room. It was pretty noisy, but silent at the same time since no one dared to open their mouth to speak, they just left us alone without a word.

When I heard the door slammed shut, indicating that everyone have left us alone, Nico finally spoke again, "Now, calm yourself down first, then we talk."

* * *

It took around ten minutes for me to finally calmed myself down, eyes finally dried. I looked like I've calmed down outside, but inside, my mind was still a mess, the word _'why?'_ kept swirling and swirling around, and I kept blaming on everything and anything that I could, I felt very horrible.

"You feeling better there?" Nico asked as she patted me on the shoulder, I looked up to her and nodded slightly, still silent all the while.

"Are you going to talk to me already? I really wanted to help you and Nozomi."

I flinched when she spoke of a certain name, "To be perfectly honest Nico, I still don't want to talk about this...it's just...it's just wrong."

Nico shot an eyebrow up, "Wrong?" She tapped her chin and stared at me, "...Is it as I thought _after all?_ "

This time I'm the one who raised an eyebrow, "What is?"

Nico scratched her cheek, "I'm just guessing, but...you seem to know, or at least had an idea of what happened...between me and Maki-chan. And that could only mean one thing..." She cleared her throat, "Something... _similar_ , happened between you two?"

I gulped, "It...depends on what is this _'something'_ you are talking about."

Nico was taken aback, blush adorned her cheeks, "Well, uhh...let's make a deal. If I tell you what happened between me and Maki-chan, you will tell me your story, how is it?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose, thinking what to answer. But then I thought, everything had gone downhill anyways, I've got nothing to lose, and Nico might really be the only one who could understand my situation. If something similar really did happened between her and Maki.

So I just nodded, as much as I hate to talk about something like this to someone else, I had no other choice, or else the situation will never be fixed.

Nico cleared her throat, "In...In short, Maki-chan and I...uhh...we... _made out_ , that night." Her cheeks reddened after she said that.

I widened my eyes, completely stunned at the fact that my guess wasn't far off.

" _Sh-Shut up_ , Eli."

"...I didn't even say anything."

"Your annoying stare is _noisy_ enough."

"Uhh, I'm...sorry?"

She tapped the table with her fingers, looking very flustered and embarrassed, "Okay, w-we were drunk that night right? And-And Maki-chan suddenly dragged me into your sister's room, a-and...kissed me, right then and there, and everything just became crazy and blurry." She finished with covering her face with her palms, grumbling.

"And...you hated it? Is that why you avoid Maki?"

"N-No, I loved it— _nonono_ wait I mean I just like it... _a little!_ " She groaned into her palms, she was so red that she looked like a tomato. I raised my eyebrows, it took me off guard when she said that she actually liked it, so maybe her kind of feelings towards Maki were at least similar to mine?

I blinked in confusion, "So...why did you avoid her? Because you like it and you feel bad for it?" Like I did, I added in my mind.

"No...it was be-because I was mad at...urgh I hate talking about this."

I sniggered bitterly, "Now you know how I feel..."

"W-Well, in the middle of...the _session_ , she groped me, on my, uhh, chest." Nico groaned again, "But that wasn't what made me became furious at her, it's what she said."

"And _that_ is...?"

"She...She said, and I quote, _'Where's your boobs, Nico-chan? I can't feel them.'_ , ugh. And that is why I avoided her, I was pissed." She bit her trembling lips and looked away from me, now looking furious.

I stared at her dumbfounded for a couple of seconds, before I clamped my mouth shut with both hands and I tried really hard to stifle my laughter. My shoulders were trembling like crazy because I was trying so hard to hold back. Nico saw how much I tried not to laugh hard, she then hit my shoulder, real hard.

"Ow!"

"Don't laugh you jerk!"

I still tried hard not to laugh, "I mean...Maki said...oh my god I _can't_." Unable to hold back any longer, I crossed my arms on the table, buried my face in it, and let a big laughing fit out, although muffled.

"Oh c'mon it's _not_ funny!"

When my laughter finally subsided, I sat straight on my seat. Although I've stopped laughing so much, I still couldn't help but giggle the moment I saw Nico's hilarious furious face. She crossed her arms and glared at me, I stopped giggling immediately.

"Sorry, sorry," I cleared my throat, "So, what are you going to do with Maki? Now that you've done...something like _that_." I said, emphasizing on _'that'_.

"Nothing." Her annoyed expression was replaced with that of flustered expression immediately. I gave her a questioning look, surprised at what she said, because I didn't expect her, whom kept nagging at me to deal with Nozomi, would say that.

"More like...I've talked to her, last night, about what happened." Her cheeks reddened, she started to play with her fingers, "Maki-chan and I...are going out now."

My mouth fell slightly, and I was at loss for words. This, was something I didn't expect, at all. Maki and Nico? _Going out?_

But they were usually bickering with each other all the time, even a trivial matter was enough to bring about world war III between them, and then suddenly they were _going out?_ Just because of the drinking incident? Was it to take responsibility for the kiss? I couldn't comprehend this at all.

"W-Why do you look so confused? It just...happened. When I talk to her about it, she apologized and finally confessed that she didn't regret that it happened, and that she liked it. And I also liked it, so...we ended up kissing again and decided to be together, end of story."

"That is... _impressive_ , Nico." I stared in awe, before switching to envy, "It sounds very easy for you." I laughed bitterly.

I heard her huffed, "Easy? _Hell no!_ Do you know how hard it is to get Maki-chan to be honest with herself? It felt like I was talking to a wall! She kept saying _'what the hell? I don't get it.'_ over and over again to avoid that topic. Heck, it was hard to drag her to talk in the first place, she's such a kid despite that oh-so-mature looks and acts."

"I see..."

"So...your turn, Eli, I really wanted to help you out, and µ's is in a dire situation here."

I flinched, I felt really terrible the moment she said that, it reminded me of what I've had done, and it reminded me how Nozomi earlier just up and left, possibly because of me.

"Your case and mine... _is_ pretty similar, Nico."

"Oh, I was right then huh. Then all you need is talk to her and apologized or something, right?"

I shook my head, "I'm afraid It's not that simple..."

"Why so? You don't like it? And that's why it felt awkward because you don't want to hurt her feelings or something?"

"No, you see...I uhh...my case is much _worse_ ," I gulped, preparing my heart for the next sentence, "...I _slept_ with her. And the fact that I liked it make it worse."

Nico blinked in confusion, "Huh? Yeah I know you slept together that night with her-" She paused, before widening her eyes in realization, "Wait-wait, slept as in... _that!?_ You...you had... _s-sex_ with her?"

I massaged my temple, "Unfortunately, I did, yes." I brought my hand to the heat patch on my neck, and pulled it off, showing the bite mark to Nico as proof of my statement.

Nico gasped at the sight, "Whoa...s-so the band-aids on Nozomi's neck are...?"

" _Yes._ "

"Holy crap...now I understand why you didn't want to talk about this, at all. You are in a more complicated problem."

"What did I tell you...and now Nozomi wanted to stay away from me by quitting µ's. It was all my fault Nico, it was probably because I took advantage of her." I sighed exasperatedly.

I saw Nico raised an eyebrow, "Huh? You do know that in these past couple of days you are the one that looked like you wanted to stay away from Nozomi, right?"

"Huh? Well, I did that because I felt guilty, all the more when I realized that...I'm in love with her, and I like what I did to her. I don't want to stain her even more, I could feel myself going crazy just by watching her breathe! I'm so disgusting, not only I forced myself on her, but I also felt...felt _this!_ It's a no wonder that she would want to stay away from me."

Nico started to massaged her temple, frowning, "Hold on, _hold on_ , how did you come up with a conclusion that Nozomi didn't even at least enjoy it a little? Or at least have the same feelings as you? Have you asked her?"

"What? Isn't it obvious? I took advantage of her, who would like it?"

"Well, I _did!_ " she paused a little, blushing, "I-I mean the _thing_ with me and Maki-chan. Anyways, all this thinking of yours that Nozomi wanted to stay away from you is just a mere assumption, isn't it?"

"I-I guess..."

"So, are you saying you are such an airhead that you didn't realize that Nozomi was hurting, not because of the _sex_ , but because of _how_ you treated her?"

"...Huh?"

"Isn't it obvious? It was Nozomi who thought that you hate her or something because of what happened! Did you forget what she said earlier? _'You'd feel better when I'm not here.'_ , She thought that how you have been acting around her meant that you didn't like what happened and that was why you avoided her!"

"But...I avoided her because I was afraid she would hate me if she found out about how I _feel_ , not because I _hate_ her."

"I'm sorry Eli, but what you did made everyone think you are the one that have a problem with her. Nozomi kept approaching you, until she said she was _quitting_ , didn't she?"

I widen my eyes, her last sentence made realization swept through really hard. Now that Nico mentioned it, Nozomi never once avoided me, but instead she kept approaching me, and I was the one that either slapped or pushed her hand away.

Nozomi never once looked like she was angry, or hate me. She just look like she was hurting whenever I...pushed her away. She tried to stay by my side despite how uncomfortable I was around her.

 _'...No,_ _ **I'm**_ _sorry, Elicchi.'_

Nozomi never wanted to stay away.

So that means...Nozomi might've had been _fine_ with what happened? But not fine with how I treated her these past couple of days?

"Oh my god..."

Nico slap her hand onto her face, "Oh _god_ you're so messed up. Go after her already!" She stood up from her seat, and pulled me up, forcing me to stand up. I snapped from my trance and nodded at her, quickly making a dash to the clubroom's door.

I reached for the knob, then I looked back at Nico, "Thank you, Nico, and I regret it that I didn't talk to you sooner." I turned the knob and opened the door, before exiting the room.

"Ah! Wait, Eli! Your ba—"

* * *

I crossed my arms and tapped my fingers on it, feeling anxious. I squinted hard at the door in front me as my heart was thundering inside my chest. I was very nervous to see and talk with Nozomi.

 _C'mon Ayase Eli, for your friends' sake too!_

Gulping, I held out my hand and reached for the doorbell. With shaky fingers, I pressed the button slightly. And right then I heard the familiar, muffled doorbell ring that was coming from the inside of Nozomi's apartment.

My ears all perked up when I heard the sound of footsteps inside coming towards the door. I swallowed my saliva and my finger tapping got more intense than ever. I was overwhelmed by the mix of anxiety and fear.

The door knob turned slightly, the sight made me jolted and my heart leapt. I watched the door swung open slowly, the wider it was, the harder my heart was beating inside my ribs. I held my own hand, to stop it from shaking due to the nervousness.

When the door finally swung completely open, I was able to see that one girl that I grudgingly admitted fell in love with. I cringed when I noticed how puffy and red her eyes were, I guessed that she had been crying nonstop. She was still wearing the school uniform, although the blazer was nowhere to be found, I also noticed that her uniform had wrinkles here and there, and her hair was a little messy.

That same puffy eyes widen, finally registering who was the figure in front of her. She bit her lower lip and attempted to close the door on my face, but in a swift move I held the door with my left hand, hindering her action.

With a small push, I opened the door wide enough for me to stepped in, before closing it behind me. I held my breath as I stared into her pair of puffy emerald eyes, Nozomi averted her eyes away from me, lips trembling slightly as if in fear.

She parted her lips slightly, "Why...are you here?" she said in a really small, weak voice. She looked like she was about to bolt anytime, she looked like a cornered, terrified rabbit.

I exhaled shakily, "I wanted to see you, Nozomi."

" _Do you_ , Elicchi?"

I winched at how cold she said that, her face shown that of disbelief, she looked like she really couldn't believe the words I just said. My hand clutched my chest tightly, a pang of pain could be felt inside of it.

"I _do_ , Nozomi." I hardened my jaw, trying to keep my composure so that my emotions wouldn't be out of control.

"Because the others told you to?"

I widen my eyes, before frowning, " _No!_ I wanted to talk to you!"

Nozomi gave me a smile. A small smile that was bitter and obviously implied that she still didn't believe me. This made me realized how much damage I've done to the poor girl, I pushed her so much that she actually pushed herself away so that she won't get pushed again, by me.

Then she made a 180 degrees turn, "If what you needed is a talk, then please by all means, come on in." she said in a low voice, devoid of any kind of emotion, just flat and lifeless. It was very unlike Nozomi that it made me shudder.

She took a couple of slow steps away from me, at this I immediately took off my shoes and quickly catch up with her, not wanting to let any huge gap between us so that she wouldn't be able to run away from me. I've come this far as quickly as I could so that I was able to fix this mess, I hate to see Nozomi hurting like this, especially when I knew that it was all because of me.

Before I realized it, we were in her dining room. She beckoned me to sit down before she went to the kitchen, saying that she will make some tea for the both of us. Her hospitality was still the same, but her mannerism was certainly different. She was colder, her usual carefree smile was nowhere to be seen, only emptiness.

Just like her apartment, empty, and not colorful.

I bit the inside of my cheeks and hardened my jaw, guilt and regret were washing over me. I finally realized how hurt Nozomi was. Nozomi was a kind of girl that got lonely rather easily, but never voiced it out, she always bottled it inside, burrowing deep inside of her, unable to come out and express herself.

And she ever told me that I was the first one that was able to fill that big gap in her heart, slowly filling her lonely heart with a couple of color, before she met everyone and filled her heart with a couple more.

Yet that one source of her happiness was pushing her away, right after the accident between us.

It hit me hard like a brick, how massive such a small action could do. I didn't mean to push her away because I hated her, I pushed her away because I hated myself, and I wanted her to be safe from a beast such as me.

But considering my guess about her feelings towards that accident and her easily lonely self...it made my action look very stupid, it was unnecessary and only brought grief to her instead of happiness.

I should've talked to her from the beginning instead of running away and made a complicated mess.

A sigh escaped my lips, my eyes wander to the figure who was standing at the kitchen, in front of the stove, boiling some water for the tea. Nozomi had her back to me, and I watched from behind how her arms and shoulders moved slightly with a few clanking sounds here and there, she was probably putting in the sugar into the cups. Then I heard a whistling sound from her kettle, indicating that the water had reached to its boiling point.

I saw her turned the stove off, and started to pour the water into each cups. Then I watched her right arm made some sort of circular motion, I guessed that she was stirring the tea to dissolve the sugar within it.

The fragrance of the sweet tea filled the room, I inhaled a little more of the sweet smelling air, and my face soften at this. It calmed my pounding heart down a little, soothing my mind with its subtle yet powerful fragrance. It did made me wonder what tea she was using, because it smelled really good.

The fragrance reminded me of Nozomi somehow, it was subtle, yet able to captivate me, and calmed me down considerably.

Nozomi walked over to where I sit with a tray of cups on her hands, then she slowly put down the two cups on the dining table. She put the tray aside and sat down on the seat in front of me. The moment I saw her face up close, the nervousness seeping in again inside of me, making me biting my lower lip.

"So, what do you want to talk about, Elicchi?" She asked as her finger wrapped around the handle of the cup, and lifted it up to her lips, sipping at the sweet liquid.

I opened my mouth, about to say something, but stopped when I felt how dry my throat was. The feeling reminded me how I've been crying a lot at school earlier, and I haven't replenish all the liquid that I've lost. So I also took a sip of the tea, closing my eyes and sighing in content at how the warm and delicious tasting liquid sated my dry throat.

I sipped a couple more of it before I put the cup down, and gazed straight to Nozomi. The tea helped me keeping my composure but I still felt nervous, and my heart beat still hasn't gone back to normal. It was not as fast when I just arrived here, but it was still faster than normal.

Nozomi gave me a question look, with a small forced smile on her lips.

I hardened my jaw at the sight, "Are you sure _this_ is what you wanted? _Quitting_ µ's?" with a small voice, I asked her straight to the point.

"Yes."

She lied. I knew she blatantly lied. That smile of hers couldn't fool me, that smile was only a mask, to sugarcoat her lie.

Both of my fists were clenching and unclenching, "No, you don't."

"Yes, I _do_."

"No, I _don't believe_ you."

"Of course you _don't_ , _why_ should _you?_ " her _'cheerful'_ expression finally fell, "After _what happened_ , why should you believe me?"

My mouth was hanging a little, "...What?"

"I _know_ that you wished this to happen, aren't you? I'm only obliging to your wish, to make you happy." Tears started to form in her eyes, "I just wanted you to be happy, Elicchi."

"Nozomi..."

"It hurts, Elicchi, it hurts to be pushed away by the one you love the most, especially because she was _unhappy_ with _you_." Stream of tears started to fall onto her soft cheeks, I flinched at this, then I stood up from my seat and went over her.

 _'Love'_ , she said.

That alone was enough to prove that my deduction was right. That one sentence alone had answered all of my questions, about her feelings, and why she suddenly wanted to quit the one group that she thought of as her own salvation, and it made me feel even more terrible for my stupid actions towards her. What I did made her really wanted to leave her source of happiness, all for the sake of _one stupid person_.

And so, with the newly found courage, I used both of my hands to turned her face towards me and cupped her cheeks, then I used my thumbs to wiped her tears away. She tried to pull her face away from my grasp, but I kept my hand firm on their place, not wanting to let go and kept wiping her tears.

"Please...don't do this to me Elicchi, you're too kind for your own good. Please let me go...I'm prepared to leave you so you would be able to smile freely like you used to be." She choked a sob, and started to whimper as she used her hands to try to pry my hand away from her cheeks.

I bent down quickly the moment she was able to pry my hands away, and kissed her eye, taking that salty tears into my mouth. Her body shuddered at my unexpected action.

She might have grabbed and held onto my wrists so tightly so I wouldn't be able to touch her, but I continue to wiped her tears, this time using my mouth, kissing and drinking every droplets of her tears away.

I felt her froze up, and so I pulled back and looked at her straight in the eye, "I don't want you to leave, Nozomi." I whispered softly, then without thinking, I bent down further, closing my eyes shut and brought my lips upon hers.

She gasped upon my lips, she stayed still and didn't move even a single inch. So I kissed her deeper for a little bit before pulling back and opened my eyes, to meet with a very shocked pair of emerald orbs.

"E-E-Elicchi...?" She stammered uselessly, a red blush was apparent on her cheeks.

The corners of my lips turned upward, "I'm sorry I've made you feel this way, but I didn't push you away because I didn't like what happened between us that night." I paused and pecked her forehead, "I did it because I thought _I alone_ felt this way, I thought that _I_ was the beast for liking it." There was this surge of relief inside of me, now that I've finally let my feelings out to her, and it made me smiled wider.

Nozomi's eyes widen in utter disbelief, then she finally let go of my wrists and let her arms fell limply on her sides. I took this chance to cup her cheeks once again, and wiped her tears away, for good this time, as she seemed to have stopped crying.

She stared at me, still frozen and silent, before she blinked and leaned in a little, her eyes were giving me a question. I closed my eyes, tilted my head slightly and met her halfway as an answer to her question. Nozomi mewled, sounded happy and full of life this time.

I felt Nozomi circled her arms around my neck and pulled me closer to her hardly, pressing our lips deeper against each other in a rough manner. I let out a low groan at her action, not as a protest, but as an expression of satisfaction that I felt. With my arms, I enveloped her in a tight embrace to bring our bodies even closer with each other, as if it wasn't close enough.

Truth to be told, her lips felt really good. It was soft, sweet, and it made my chest all warm and fuzzy inside.

I knew that this wasn't our first time kissing as fierce as this, but it still felt new. My brain felt like this was a whole new experience, but my body didn't, it remembered what it had done. I realized that the way I responded to Nozomi's fierce kiss was similar to the me in my dream, or memory.

The feelings were the same, my body temperature were starting to climb, the pit of my stomach felt all funny, and there was this desire that kept piling up more and more within me, asking for more of this, more of Nozomi.

My brain short circuited when Nozomi bit my upper lip and force her tongue into my mouth, I let out a voice filled with complete pleasure and accepted her advances willingly. My body started to get out of control the more she licked every corner of my mouth.

Unable to dam my raw, out of control desire anymore, I slipped my hands under her thighs and I lifted her up with such force and strength before putting her down on top of the dining table. Nozomi pulled away from the kiss, gasping in surprise at the sudden movement.

I opened my eyes to meet a gaze of bewilderment, I heaved a couple of times, trying to catch my breath. Then I put my hands flat on the table as a support for my body before I bent down and brought my face up close to hers. She whispered of my name softly, filled with desire and want, then she brought her fingertips to touch my face and caressed it.

She smiled, a true, and honest smile this time, as she spoke, "You...weren't lying..."

I let out a small giggle and shook my head, "Nope."

"S-So...I just misunderstood all of _that?_ " She laughed nervously, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry...it's my fault for avoiding you like that, I should've talk to you from the very beginning I woke up next to you."

"And you shouldn't do it again, Elicchi, it's bad for my health."

"That is why I'm here, Nozomi." I inhaled and brought my face closer to hers, whispering, "I'm _done_ with avoiding, I know what I wanted now." I felt a tingling sensation on my cheeks, and I could feel it flare up the moment I said that.

Her eyes soften, and her smile widen, "Then, by all means, _please_ do what you want." She whispered seductively into my ear.

I inhaled sharply, and felt as if a switch had been flipped inside of me. A rush of desire quickly rising up, so fast that my body started to feel scorching hot. The need to vent the unstoppable desire was too much that I really began to lose it.

Groaning as a respond, and mind filled with lust now, I began to descend my lips to the first open skin I could find; her neck. My lips made a contact with it softly, feeling the smooth skin and began to give a couple of ghost kisses on it, making the figure below me shuddered.

I blinked when I felt something rough could be felt on her neck, so I pulled back and look for the thing that hindered me from kissing more of her irresistible skin. I raised an eyebrow when I saw a couple of band-aids on her neck, then seconds later a blush crept on my cheeks when I realized what they were.

"You can take it off...I don't have anything to hide anymore."

I nodded and proceed to peeled them off, revealing the secret behind it; a couple of hickeys that I myself left on that faithful night. The color had faded away a little, but it was still very apparent on her fair skin, sticking out like a sore thumb.

For some reason, I felt a little sad that these marks of mine were in the process of healing, meaning it would be gone sooner or later. Wanting to prolong their _'life'_ , I pressed my lips right on top of it, licking at it a little before I began to suck it, making Nozomi moaned in pleasure.

I kept sucking at one spot until I felt it was enough for it to last a couple of days longer, and moved on to the others, doing the same thing so that they would be there longer. I felt as if by doing this, I would be able to mark Nozomi as mine, and that possessive thought excited me.

Feeling two hands roaming around my body, I sighed shakily. Then I could feel those same hands started to unbuttoned my school blazer, I made a gap between our bodies so that it would be easier for her hands to did so.

She pushed me away, forcing me to break the contact with her neck and stood straight, and then she sat up, burying her face in my chest as she slowly slipped my blazer off of me. I caught a glimpse of red on her ears, and this made me smile.

When I felt the blazer was finally off of me, I cupped her chin and lifted her face up, to press my lips upon hers. As I moved my mouth ever so gently upon hers, I untied her ribbon tie, revealing a very appetizing collarbone, which also has a couple of hickeys on it.

As she retaliated to my kisses, she also untied my ribbon tie. She ran her fingers around the newly exposed area, making me having a goosebumps all over my body. I pressed my lips deeper and licked her lips, wishing for an entrance, which she quickly gave permission to.

I explored into her mouth, feeling with my tongue which part made her shook the most, and it was found rather quickly, she was fairly more sensitive on the roof of her mouth. With the new knowledge, I repeatedly licked around the area, making her moaning into my mouth and clutching her hands on the collar of my shirt.

Not wanting to be fully dominated, she used her own tongue to pushed mine back, but I didn't give in so easily, and so I fought back. This ended up with our tongue dancing fluidly against each other, forgetting about wanting to defeat the other and enjoyed the sensation instead.

Still with our lips locked with each other, she proceed to unbutton my shirt, trailing down her fingers on my exposed skin all the while, making me took a sharp breath in and my whole body shook. When she finished unbuttoning each buttons, I pushed her down onto the table hardly, making her yelped.

I panted heavily as I stared down at her with half lidded eyes, unconsciously licking my lips at the sight below me. Face all red, lust was clearly shown in her half lidded eyes, and she had her swollen red lips parted slightly, heavy breathing escaped from it.

Feeling my breath getting more ragged just because of such an astonishing sight, I took off my shirt quickly, then I brought my shaky hands over to the button of her own shirt and tried to be as quickly as possible to undone it, couldn't wait to see more of her dazzling figure.

It took longer than I expected, thanks to my shaking hands, but I did it nonetheless. My eyes were moving up and down on her body, taking it the magnificent sight and burned it into my memory. I couldn't get over the fact that I knew that I've seen her in this form before, in this kind of circumstances once before, but it felt new to me, due to the fact that the first time we did it was when we were drunk, so the memories of this were all jumbled.

But right at that moment, none of us were drunk, we were sober and were mentally able to give the consent. Yet without being intoxicated even a little bit, the feelings were the same, it was all crazy, it felt so fast that your brain just couldn't keep up anymore, and your body was out of control and moving only on instinct, as the brain was pretty much a mess.

My eyes stopped at the large, round shaped part of her torso. My face heated up when I saw it, it reminded me of the dream I had at school. Blood was thundering in my ears when the dream came back to me, which made me thinking whether I could do that again or not.

I licked my lips, I wanted to do it, just like the me in my dream, the me in my memory.

I spread my fingers on her abdomen, just slightly below her rib cage, tickling the skin gently in an up and down motion, making Nozomi hissed and gritting her teeth. Her reaction made my excitement grew, I huffed and took a deep breath, preparing my heart for my next move.

My fingers that were on her abdomen slid down towards her back, giving her ghostly touches and caresses while I was at it, making her cry out my name. When I reached my destination, I slid my hand up very slowly, and then I felt Nozomi arching her back as if knowing what I had in mind and gave me a green access for it.

When my fingertips could feel a piece of fabric, I stopped my advances and leaned in to her before I gave a peck on her nose to grab her attention.

Nozomi opened her eyes, "Elicchi...?" She asked, voice hoarse and croaked.

"Can I...?" I spoke lowly as I tugged the hook of her bra, blushing madly.

She giggled, "You're going to ask permission _now?_ "

"W-Well...I'm just...making sure."

"Oh, silly Elicchi." She brought her hands up and bury them in my golden locks, "...I'm glad you're the one I'm in love with. Just go ahead, I don't mind." Nozomi pulled me to her, and then she pressed her lips on my neck, which made me jolted and let out a whine. I felt like I just got electrocuted, as the tingling feeling was spreading all over my body.

And then she pulled back suddenly, I groaned in protest at it. Then she tilted my head a little, before gasping, this made me raised an eyebrow.

"I...did this?" I heard her suddenly asked,

"Did what?"

"The bite mark, it looks pretty bad...does it hurt?"

"Oh, that...then yes, and no, it doesn't feel hurt, don't worry Nozomi." I kissed her temple, to reassure her.

She fell silent for awhile, before humming and then I felt her pulled me again, to press her lips around the bite mark. Then she stuck her tongue out and licked the mark with the tip of her tongue and made a circular motion, following the shape of the mark.

"Ah...Nozomi...!" I gritted my teeth, my breathing started to get uneven. I pushed my neck to her, wanting to feel more of her tongue action. Then my hands that were stopping at the hook of her bra began its move again, and unclasped it, unbound her huge mounds, but it was not free yet as it was still covered.

Whimpering at how good her tongue felt on my neck, I tried extra hard to focus on tickling her skin with my fingertips yet again. This made Nozomi wavered in her action and also tried hard to focus on what she was doing.

But Nozomi froze completely the moment my hands reached her enormous, and very soft breasts. I inhaled deeply and started to massaged it carefully, as if it was very frail. I groaned a little when she took two handful of my hair and pulled on it. The more I caressed her mounds, the more she pulled on my hair and moaned louder.

While I was massaging it, I brought both of my index fingers towards the peak, to find two hardened, and perky nipples. This feeling made me heaved and I could feel my lower body started to feel rather hot.

I pinched it together with my middle finger, eager to know what kind of reaction would I get out of Nozomi.

"Ahn Elicchi...!"

The way she called my name made my mind lose it. It became blank and I growled lowly, the bare, and raw desire within me had completely took over my entire mind. I was unable to think even remotely clear now.

That was it.

I pulled myself back, staring down at those breasts that I've been holding. Feeling unsatisfied because it was still covered, I bent down and took her bra off using only my teeth. I forcefully take the last piece of clothing that hid her rack off, akin to a hungry feral beast.

Once I finally able to to take it off somehow with my teeth, I felt my mouth getting wetter when I finally able to see the miracle underneath her clothing, her bare, and flushed torso. I made a trail of kisses. I started from her lips, kissing her there deeply for a couple of seconds before trailing down to her neck, her collarbone, and finally, her areola.

My body remembered how I did it last time, I stuck out my tongue and made a circular motion on it to tease her, making the girl underneath me arching her back, feeling painfully good.

Nozomi dug her fingernails into my scalp when I took the peak of her front into my mouth, and embracing it with both my tongue and my teeth.

I started to suck it, feeling the tip of it hardened even more inside my mouth. I bit it from time to time and pulled it, unfailing to make Nozomi writhing and whimpering helplessly underneath me.

Nozomi held my body close, and I could feel a pair of lips were making advances around my ear. She blew an air into it, making a hissing sound in my ear, then she immediately gave a lick to my earlobe.

The action made me jumped and bit her nipple a little too hard, I heard Nozomi wincing in pain. I mumbled an apology and pulled my mouth away. While my hand caressing that mound to soothe the pain, I moved my lips to the other peak,. I blinked in surprise when her reaction was actually louder. I concluded that her right nipple was more sensitive than the other, and I grinned in satisfaction, feeling that I've found a treasure.

As I began to suck it, and Nozomi began thrashing around. I had to held her really tight so that she wouldn't be able to go anywhere. Then my hands traveled down south, my heart was going crazy at this, feeling that I was about to reach my final goal.

I traced my hands to her thighs, she gasped and stiffened. And so I caress them a little to calm her down, when she finally did, I continued my journey upwards, towards a haven. My hands slipped underneath the skirt, and my fingertips were able to feel a cotton fabric, I exhaled shakily at the discovery.

"Nozomi..." I whispered, pulling back from her peak.

"Just...Just do it...! I-I-I can't...!" She said in between gasps.

Realizing that this was it, the last stop, I gulped and slowly curled my fingers on the band of her undergarment, before pulling it slowly until her mid thighs. Right then, a waft of a strong and sweet scent attacked my nose, the smell heightened my excitement.

I couldn't help but pulled myself back a little bit and sniffed around her body to follow the scent, feeling curious as to where it came from. When I realized it came from down south, I immediately knew what was the source of such a delicious scent.

I put my left hand flat on the table to support my body, and my right hand traveled to her inner thigh, Nozomi's body shuddered, and she cried out. I teased her around the area to see more of her reaction, I was hungry to see her reactions to my actions.

She hissed, moaned, groaned, and she started to protest at my teasing, making me smirk. I was starting to get crazy, I was being evil to her, because I loved to torture her like this.

Finally fed up with my teasing, Nozomi pushed me away and forcefully making me sit on the chair she was sitting on earlier, I gasped at this.

For a second I saw that beautiful center of hers that I've been wanting to see. I held my breath at the sight, and then groaned in disappointment when it was no longer there, as Nozomi had went down from the table and slid away from her panties. I looked up to meet with her intense, full of lust gaze. Nozomi was panting heavily, and she licked her own lips in hunger.

What she did next was beyond my expectation.

She grabbed my right hand, and then put it on my lap palm up. She bent down to my ear and whispered shakily, "...You Idiot." Before she positioned my middle finger up and she descended her body into it slowly, she whimpered and held onto me tightly with one arm.

I gasped, a bit loudly, completely shocked at what she did. All of a sudden my finger felt a really moist, and hot flesh were embracing it tightly. I couldn't help but blushed madly and moaned her name unconsciously at this.

When she had descended completely, she cried out loud and pulled me closer, I instinctively wrapping my free arm around her waist to lock her in place so she wouldn't go anywhere.

We didn't move for a couple of seconds, and we both were panting heavily.

Nozomi pulled back her body a little to look at me, her face were flushing beet red and she looked very flustered. It seemed that she also couldn't believe that she really just did something like that, and her eyes were begging me to be the one to continue, to lead.

I nodded hesitantly and trailed my free hand down to her soft backside, Nozomi's lips were starting to tremble, then she bent down and kissed me on the lips. I mewled into her mouth and started to beckoned her to move up and down, my jaw hardened at how her insides grinding against my middle finger.

I couldn't concentrate on kissing her back as she started to pick up a pace, my mind were all jumbled and messy at how she constantly moaning at each thrust.

I wanted more, I wanted more of her voice.

And so I started to move my hand, meeting her halfway when she came down, making me able to thrust deep inside of her. Our kisses started to get really sloppy and wet as we got into the up and down rhythm perfectly.

My ears perked up when I heard a wet smacking sound from down below, indicating at how wet the girl on top of me was, and this made my face heated up in embarrassment. I begrudgingly admitted that I love that sound, and so I increased my pace, wanting to hear more of it. She stopped moving and moaned in surprise for a second before following my rhythm, and soon I was able to hear that wet smacking sound got louder, I groaned in satisfaction.

We even forgot to kiss, our lips just stayed still right there, on each others lips, locked so tight as if it was meant to be one with each other. We both muffled our moans and groans with each other's lips, although it still sounded loud to me.

I could feel her insides clenching and unclenching a little bit, hugging my finger really tight. In a split second, my brain had this good idea, and I followed its idea. As Nozomi moved up, I immediately brought my ring finger up and slipped it into her, making her clawing against my bare back with her fingers and she pulled back her lips away from me, screaming in both surprise and pleasure.

We decreased our pace at the same time, I knew that Nozomi had to adjust to the new finger that just got thrusted into her. I slowly pushed it in deep inside of her and wriggled it around, to soak it with her juice so that it wouldn't hurt her when I started to move quickly. But that act alone made her body shook violently, and she heaved right on my ear and bit my earlobe, unable to dam the overwhelming feeling.

When I feel like my finger were soaked good enough, I began my fast pace again, and Nozomi clawed harder against my back, making me groaned in pain. But I didn't mind it at all, it felt painfully good, and I love to see her reacted strongly to this.

Then after awhile of stimulating her spot, she stopped her rhythm and fell limp in my arms, I gasped and looked at her, wondering what happened.

"I-I'm sorry...my legs..." She said in between heavy pants, this made me raised an eyebrow and glanced down to her legs, to find them shaking profusely. She looked like her stamina had been drained out and she could no longer stand on her feet. That meant that I've got do something about this

So I pulled my fingers out of her, earning a weak groan of protest, then with my hands I help her to stand up. When she stood straight, she wobbled, so I had to stand up quickly to catch her in my embrace and slowly beckoning her to laid back on top of the dining table, which she obediently did.

She let her back fell flat on top of the table, her hair was sprawling everywhere. The sight was very breathtaking for me that I had to consciously reminded myself to breath. She lifted her shaking legs, and then Nozomi wrapped them around my waist and pulled me closer to her.

I was mesmerized at how Nozomi looked like right now, she had half lidded eyes that were begging for more of me, her plump lips were red and swollen with heavy breath escaping it, her cheeks were beet red and were glistening under the light due to the sweat she produced, seeing this made me self conscious about our body.

It finally dawned upon me how our bodies were scorching hot, flushed, and drenched in sweat, due to the exertion of our indecent activities. Seeing her sweat slowly trickling down from her forehead made me gulped and brought my fingers towards it, wanting to feel how soaked her face was.

When my fingers touched her cheek, I caressed it, but then I gasped immediately when I realized that my fingers were coated in a liquid substance of sort, I panicked and was about to apologize for staining her face with it, but she made me close my mouth shut when she grabbed my wrist, then shaking her head as she brought my middle and ring fingers into her mouth.

I bit my lower lip at how she began to suck them, so passionately and lovingly, tasting her own juices. She circled her tongue around my fingers, she licked my fingers clean, and gulped down every droplets of the liquid substance on my fingers, making me shuddered and felt incredibly turned on.

After she finished cleaning up my fingers, she slowly led them downwards, my eyebrows twitched when I could feel a wet mess down there. Nozomi turned her head to the side, averting her eyes away from me in embarrassment.

I swallowed my saliva nervously and began to rub around her wet labia, Nozomi's body jolted at the touch. Now that I was able to touch it properly, I could feel the shape and texture of her flower. I rubbed my fingers there for awhile, soaking it in her juices again, before starting to slip both of my middle and ring fingers into her. I opened her center wide with my other fingers so that I could access it easier.

She took a sharp, shaky breath when my finger had completely delved inside of her. I started with a really slow motion of thrusting in and out to let her adjusted to it. My eyes were locked onto her enormous breasts that jiggled at every thrust I made, it made my throat felt dry.

Feeling thirsty, I bent my head down and brought my lips to her right nipple, giving small kisses to it. But then I moved my lips inches away from it and licked around her chest, drinking every droplets of salty sweat that I could find.

Nozomi's body jerked uncontrollably as I simultaneously licking her chest area and thrusting my fingers deep into her. I noticed that she began to wail louder and louder, and she wrapped her legs tighter around me, holding herself from thrashing around. I wondered if she was about to reach her climax.

With that in mind, I swiftly moved my lips to hers and kissed her deeply, before pulling back and whispered in between my gasps, "I love you...nnhh...Nozomi."

Still clawing at my back, she smiled weakly and pecked me on the lips, "Nghh...I love you too, Elicch—ahh!" Nozomi bit her lower lip and her breath quickened, at this I heightened the pace of my fingers and kissed her as deep as I could, as if wanting to eat her alive.

She desperately clinging on to me as she whispered that she wanted more into my mouth, and so I obliged to her wish wholeheartedly. I felt that my arm already grew tired, but just for this one moment I wanted to give it all I've got, and so I thrust faster than before, curling my fingers a little bit inside of her, hitting the roof of her center.

It seemed that I hit the right spot, as Nozomi kept wailing my name in pleasure again and again like a mantra, we both felt like we were starting to disperse into oblivion. I pulled back my lips and began to gave her a hungry butterfly kisses to every open skin that I could find.

My stamina was at my limit, I was almost unable to keep my pace as every energy I've got within me started to escape out of my entire being. I breathed in and out raggedly as I tried really hard to please her with the incredibly quick pace.

When Nozomi let out a really loud moan into my ear, I felt her insides clenching my fingers really tight, her body shook violently and she dug her nails hardly on my back. I groaned her name lowly, both in pleasure and relief when I knew she had finally reached her peak.

I slowly decreased my pace, waiting for her wave of climax to dissipated, before stopping completely. Feeling completely exhausted for some reason, I let my body fell tiredly on top of her, hugging her tight with my free arm.

Nozomi were breathing heavily into my ear as she wrapped her arms tightly around my shoulders, and she let her fingers interweaving themselves among my now messy locks. She caressed my scalp gently and pecked my ear.

I sighed in content, feeling very comfortable and warm in her embrace. It felt so calming and soothing that I feel like I could just fell asleep right then and there in her arms.

"That...really happened." I heard her whispered into my ear, still breathing hard.

I exhaled shakily, "Yes."

We both fell silent, so silent that all we could hear were our heavy breathings because we were desperately in need of air. I was about to close my eyes and sleep for real when I heard her began to speak again.

"Elicchi..."

"Mm...?" I responded weakly.

"Uhh...can't you, erm... _take it out_?"

I twitched and blush began to crept on my cheeks, "I-I-I'm sorry...I uhh...I don't have the e-energy right now." I stammered uselessly as I tried to move my fingers that were still inside of her, I winced when I felt that my arm was really too tired and too sore to pull my fingers out at the moment.

My attempt of trying to pull my fingers out made Nozomi jerked her body and she moaned a little. Another set of blush crept in as I realized that she was still very sensitive.

"I'm s-sorry." I cleared my throat muttered shyly, earning a small giggle from her.

"Oh, it's fine." She started to stroke my head, "I guess it can't be helped." She giggled again as she pulled me in closer to her, embracing me tightly.

I couldn't help but let the corner of my lips turned upward into smile, feeling happy that I'm finally able to fix the mess that I made. Happiness began to overwhelm me as I thought how Nozomi wouldn't leave my side, she would stay right here right next to me with her genuine smile on her lips, no more fake smile, no more avoiding.

Everything would go back to normal, our group, µ's would be in its former strong state again. We would be able to dance together again, laughing together again. And Nico would finally stop nagging me about Nozomi.

Speaking of Nico, for some reason I felt like I was forgetting something, and it has something to do with Nico, I wonder what it was.

"Sorry for the intrusiooon~ Nozomi, I've been ringing the doorbell but nobody came out, and the door is unlocked so me and Maki-chan wanted to check whether you're alright or not."

My ears perked up at the new voice that sounded like it was coming closer, "Is Eli here? Because she left her bag behind and I thought that she went here—"

Speak of the devil.

My eyes went wide like a saucer. I pushed my body up a little bit with my free arm and both Nozomi and I snapped our heads towards the new voice. I have my jaw hanging wide as I saw two figures in front of me, both also slacked jawed and their faces were really red. Then Nico let a bag fell freely on the floor, which was probably mine that I left behind at school.

"N-Nicocchi! Maki-chan!"

"N-Nico, Maki, this isn't...!" I threw my both my hands up, which means that I unconsciously pulled my fingers out of Nozomi really fast, and it made Nozomi moaned. I gasped and stared down at Nozomi, who were covering her mouth with both of her hands, face completely red like an apple.

I gulped and slowly turned my head back to the two figures in front of me. I blinked when I saw them staring at something else, feeling curious, I followed their gaze, to find that they were staring at my right hand that was raised up, more specifically, they were staring at the fingers that were covered in a liquid substance.

"...Ah."

"Okay, that's it! M-Maki-chan, stop the rest from coming in and nobody gets in until I said so!" Nico said as she pointed at the door, Maki nodded to Nico, her blush went a shade deeper as she ran immediately to the front door.

Nico turned around and faced the wall as she scratched her head in frustration, " _Dammit_ you two, I'm glad you made up and all but _please_ lock the door!"

I covered my face with my left hand, feeling completely embarrassed, "A-Accidents happens!"

"Sure, Eli, _sure_."

"It was...only an accident, Elicchi?"

"Th-That's not what I—argh! You're not helping, Nozomi!"

* * *

 _ **THE END**_

* * *

 **A/N: Whoa, wasn't that a ride.**

 **N-No I didn't intend that to be an innuendo I swear.**

 **Thank for reading this freaking long NozoEli fanfiction, I stayed up all night to write this, especially the last part, I kinda went crazy there.**

 **Oh but it's not over yet, here's an omake!**

* * *

 _ **OMAKE**_

* * *

"I'm glad Nozomi-chan!" Honoka exclaimed as she hugged Nozomi, who was now fully-clothed, and decent.

Of course I also already looking decent, because Nico said that the others were right outside and was about to visit Nozomi because they were worried, and so she wanted us both to wear some clothes and clean ourselves up, which we did, in a hurry.

"I'm sorry for making all of you worried...I shouldn't have said that I was quitting in a spur of the moment like that." She gave an apologetic smile to everyone and bowed down her head slightly.

"It makes me curious though...whatever happened that made you like that, Nozomi?" I heard the navy blue haired second year asked, her question made both Nozomi and I twitched and blushed.

Nico huffed in annoyance, "Oh, these two just had a communication problem over an _accident_. Eli here being an airhead she is, avoids her bestfriend instead of actually have a talk with Nozomi and she didn't know that it actually hurt her."

I widen my eyes, "N-Nico!"

She glared at me, "What? Was I wrong? I already told you to handle it before it was too late," Nico grumbled, "Thank god you actually have the balls to finally _bonded_ with her." She said as she pointed her thumb to Nozomi, who flinched as a respond. I felt like my head exploded at how she emphasized her word.

"Ohh? What happened nya? What did you do Eli-chan?" Rin scooted closer to, eyes gleaming with curiosity.

I averted my eyes, "I-It's private, Rin!"

"Aww, but I wanna know how you made up with her nyaa!"

I heard Nico scoffed, "More like made lov— _mmpffhh!_ " I silently thanked Nozomi for shutting Nico's mouth with her hands at the right time.

I was taken aback and shook my head, "I'm _not_ going to tell you, Rin."

Rin leaned in, "Oh c'mon Eli-chaaaan, I wanna know nyaaaa!"

Then I saw Maki approached Rin and pulled her away from me, "Stop it Rin, all they did were what your parents did to bond—" Maki gasped when she realized at how wrong her wording was, she clasped her hands on her lips and blushed as she stared apologetically to me and Nozomi.

Both me and Nozomi's jaw fell.

"...What?" The second years, Rin, and Hanayo said in unison.

 _Oh no._

* * *

 _ **END OF OMAKE**_

* * *

 **A/N: And that's it!**

 **I hope you enjoyed that ride!**

 **Again, I didn't mean anything dirty with that.**

 **Thank you for reading, and I will see you in my next fanfiction!**


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